I am stepping into an unknown season. A time when things are changing around me and I’m not really sure what to expect on the journey ahead. I loved where I thought my life was headed… continuing on a steady upward projection. And then an unseen turn appeared in the road.
This was not a part of my plan!
In the battle of surrendering to this change in seasons, I have had to grieve my expectations and let them go. It is so important to grieve the losses that we feel. I was completely blind-sighted and my heart was broken by the current shift. God gave me forewarning of the changes, so I have had time to prepare. Even so, many tears were shed in the process.
Once God confirmed to me that despite the coming shift his plan for me was not changing, the grief eased. I felt so invested on the path I had in my mind that in the shift I had felt like somehow the plans and promises of God had become derailed. With the confirmation that I was still in the right place, God gave me peace.
It reminds me of the story of Joseph. You can read his story in Genesis 37 – 46. He heard from the Lord in dreams and knew in his spirit the plans that God had for him for great and wondrous things. Yet, he didn’t know the journey he would have to go on nor the things he would have to endure before he saw any of his dreams come to pass. Even when we hear the Lord speak, or he gives us dreams, it doesn’t mean we really know what he is planning to do.
We receive the word from God about what he wants to do in our lives and our spirit sings with expectation. Yet, the journey to get to that end vision looks like we took a wrong turn somewhere along the way. It isn’t recorded in scripture that Joseph doubted God’s faithfulness, but there were definitely many times it looked like God had completely forgotten Joseph along the way. God was always faithful and never forgot the promises he had given him.
We must remember that God is always faithful, even when we are blind-sighted. Our doubt, or lack of faith, does not derail God’s plans. It can, however, delay them. We must be careful we don’t hold onto God’s promises too tightly, they belong to God and as such, they are his. His responsibility to fulfil, and his to unfold in whatever way is best.
I was holding on too tight. I had an expectation that wasn’t God’s. It hurt to have him take it out of my hand, temporarily. He gave it straight back to me, reminding me to allow him to lead once again and showing me that he has even better for me than what I had thought up!
He always has more for us if we are willing to let him lead!